Chaotic JavaScript Patterns

Dubious solutions to dubious problems

Thanks Kevin Dooley!

Problem 1: Object keys are too restrictive!

the literal worst

Solution: Symbols + toPrimitive + Object.prototype

nothing bad can come of this

Problem 2: I end up relying too much on my closure!

Solution: Nuke the Closure

just make sure to disable strict mode ok

Problem 3: I hate quote marks!

Solution: Bare Strings

with + proxies = instant joy, tell ur friends

Problem 4: People keep commenting out my code!

Solution: uncomment()

just make sure to disable ur minifier

Plea: Show me your chaotic JavaScript

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